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Blame - it seems that everyone is blaming everyone else. “Hey, it’s not my fault. Someone else is to blame here.”
I was getting my hair cut early Saturday morning, and as I walked in I saw the window and door glass was broken. I saw a handwritten note, “no credit cards” and didn’t think anything of it.
I went in and my usual hairdresser said, “Are you going to pay cash?” I said, “Yes, I always do.” And then she started to tell me the story.
At 3 A.M. a person had broken into the shop, crashing through the window and door. He then tried to open the cash register, and began to throw all of the equipment, including the credit card machine, onto the floor to try to open the drawer where the cash might be.
As he finished his task, a neighbor heard the noise and called the police. When the police arrived, the robber had stopped beating the cash register and had gone to one of the hairdressing stations, pulled out some scissors, and started to trim his beard.
The police arrested him, and the shop owners were notified just before 5 A.M. When I called the salon it was about 8 A.M., and some of the employees were just coming in and didn’t know what to think. So as people were calling in to make appointments, the employees didn’t realize that the credit card machine didn’t work.
So as I was getting the story, people started coming in, and the employees had to let the customers know that today they would have to pay cash. As I was in the chair, getting coiffed, I heard a customer start to scream at the receptionist that she should have told him, and that he didn’t have cash. The receptionist said she was sorry but they didn’t know, and went on to tell him the story, but that there was a ATM machine next door, and he continued to complain, and so on...
And my hairdresser said, “Oh, this always happens. Everybody blames us for what we can’t control.” And I heard other people yelling what I thought was being unreasonable. I mean, things happen that you have no choice over, and you can’t change them. These are the external forces that we talk about as part of the Four Dynamics in the Choice/Change Dynamic.
Blaming Others
So I have put up my radar this week to see how much I can see that is being blamed on someone or something else. Boy, I do not have a bucket big enough to hold all of this crap. From the President of the United States to the hostess of a restaurant, everyone is blaming everyone else. If you pay attention, it might be the national sport.
Have you blamed someone or something else for what is going wrong in your life today?
And how about those people that blame other people because they have nothing else to do, like the customer at the hair salon?
I live in LA, and we have a basketball team named the Lakers (although I have heard them referred to as the Fakers this year). They had a very bad year this year, and everybody has been blaming someone or something else for their poor performance.
In today’s news, Iran is going to continue to produce nuclear material of bomb grade. The Iranians blame Europe, because they feel they should have bomb material to produce energy in the region. And that has what to do with Europe?
Abu al-Zarqawi’s leaders in Iraq blame deaths of suicide bombers on people with crosses.
Kenneth Pierott, 28, faces 99 years in prison for killing one person, a 6-year-old boy, by smothering the boy in the kitchen oven. Everyone around him, including his mother and his attorneys, say he is insane and shouldn’t be punished. He was let off and not sent to jail for the 1996 fatal beating of his sister. He beat his sister so severely that he displaced her eyeballs and crushed her skull. For that crime he spent 4 months in a mental hospital.
A group of Salem schoolgirls as young as 12 have been questioned by the police about swapping methamphetamines for sex, and one 12-year-old girl has admitted to the swap. The Police Lt. Bill Kohlmeyer said that 85% of the property crimes in the area are linked to methamphetamines. He says this is not just a Salem issue, but also an issue across the country. Who do we blame for this?
Dave Chappelle, the comedian, checked himself into a mental health facility recently, blaming exhaustion.
Gosh, I am exhausted myself typing all of these words, let’s see whom can I blame? I know, I have the ticket: my staff!
No, no, no, that is not insidious enough. Let’s see, I know: how about all of you for not being perfect, for being just like me - a human being that wants the same things that you do.
No, that’s not it, who can we blame? “The Force.” Yeah, that’s better, it is the dark side that we can blame for all of our problems and troubles. Yeah, Dave, it was the dark side that came over you so you had to check in.
Dave, it probably wasn’t the alleged drug use; the receptionist forgot to tell you that taking that stuff would make you crazy. Let’s all blame it on the receptionist - for everything from now on, we won’t have to make up anything anymore and we can just say it was the receptionist’s fault.
That will be easy for George to use, it was the receptionist.
It will be easy for you to use, it was the receptionist.
It will be universal, we can all use it. I am practicing now, it was the receptionist, and it was her fault.
Taking Responsibility
Instead of finding who or what else you can blame for what is going on in your life, it is important to hold yourself accountable. Understanding the Choice/Change Dynamic helps us to see that we have the power to choose every second of our lives, and to make the changes that we want, if we use the rest of the Four Dyanamics to help make these choices and changes we want a reality. Rather than playing the part of victim in life, you can then begin to take control and make your own choices. It is not easy; what is easy is to find an excuse rather than taking responsibility. But it is essential if you are to live a Success Philosophy life, because you will realize you control your own life, and will be empowered to achieve what you want in life. The choice is yours.
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