Success, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. It has nothing to do with money...it has to do with getting what we think we deserve. That’s why some people are content and some are not: Those who cannot accept success in their lives are doomed to a never-state of limbo, evading happiness, not recognizing that it is there for the taking.

Philosophers tell us that success is measured by failure, or how else will we appreciate the difference? Cynics have their own measure of success, and it’s usually based on material acquisition. To me, success has more to do with what’s on the inside than what’s on the outside. How our insides are developed is key.

My insides were developed watching my parents, Holocaust survivors, exhibit the neuroses and fears of people who saw hell firsthand. My insides burned for vengeance, as if that could compensate for indescribable loss. My insides rejected authority figures because they were the ones who got their way with my condemned family. Teachers in particular were my targets as a troubled youth, and the term “juvenile delinquent” was proudly worn. Successful? Yes, because I wanted to feel pain, and I made sure that others in my world felt it, too. I was truant, defiant, incorrigible, and my school grades were at the bottom of the class. Exactly where I thought my tortured heart belonged.

The turn around came when my mother finally broke down in tears, knowing she couldn’t control me and was powerless to effect a change in me. I realized then it was my duty to give her power, and to do so, I had to give myself power. So I started studying, going from the bottom to the top of the class, finally graduating with multiple honors. Successful? Yes, because I knew I deserved what I had earned.

Despite studying the sciences, I ended up in business after moving from Montreal to Los Angeles. I prospered financially. I was driven to prove that the malevolent forces that still lingered inside could not extinguish my flame. To outsiders, I was successful. I had an attractive wife, two beautiful sons, and a home in Beverly Hills. Their measure was not my measure. They were looking at the outside, while my insides told me I had committed a fraud, and worse, it was against myself.

The only way to get real was to face my demons. Learn about what made me calm, secure, and if I could actually use the word in reference to myself, happy. It took years of introspection, a divorce, a remarriage, and a belief in the values only children can teach their parents, before I could accept who I am. And that’s the real measure of success; regardless of what others see on the outside, I know my insides will now steer my path in a successful, healthy direction.

Joseph Perlmutter, nee Danczinger, was born in post war-torn Hungary and became part of the Diaspora. After brief stints as a displaced person in Vienna, Italy and Israel, his family settled in Montreal, Canada when he was 5 years old. Joe came to earn multiple honors in biochemistry and genetics at the acclaimed McGill University. He left Montreal when the separatist Parti Quebecois came into power in 1977, and has made Los Angeles his home since that time. Professionally, Joe is interested in commercial real estate investment; personally, Joe pursues spiritual enlightenment. He is inspired by his wife, children, family, friends, mentors, advisors, and life experiences floating in a sea of positiveness.

We would like to share more stories of success with our readers. If you have an inspirational story that can help others see their opportunities for greatness, send it to us at editor@lifemotivations.com. We will include the best ones in upcoming newsletters.

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The Four Dynamics that we talk about are an internal energy and force that can help you out of your “hardwiring.” What is “hardwiring?” Author David Bach, in his book “Start Late, Finish First,” estimates that our brains are 90% “hardwired.”

Now stay with me here for just a moment. Being hardwired means that our brain is going to do and recognize what we think is relevant to and purposeful for our lives. As we get older we have more information “hardwired” in our brain. If we had to think about everything we do every day, from getting ready for the day to all of the tasks and activities that we do, our brains would be fried from trying to make all of the things we do happen without this “hardwiring”.

Researchers have been experimenting with outside influences. At Baylor University they have put people into their MRI machine to see the brain’s reaction to different things.

For example, let’s take the Pepsi Challenge. 67 people took the 47-minute Pepsi Challenge inside the Baylor MRI machine. When soda was sipped through a straw, a picture of Coke or Pepsi could be seen, whether or not the soda was actually Coke or Pepsi. Sometimes it would be Coke and a Coke can, sometimes Pepsi and a Pepsi can, sometimes they would see Coke and be drinking Pepsi and vice versa. People preferred Coke when the Coke can was displayed, whether it was Coke or Pepsi.

So the real fundamental question is why do we believe anything?

Researchers at Baylor and Cal Tech suspect that the influence of advertising and marketing does more than change minds. It may also alter the brain.

If you play an instrument, read, do math, or write, you don’t start over every day. You have certain things engrained in you brain. That is why we practice when we wish to develop a new skill. And this exposure might shape the circuits in our brains.

Using machines that measure the brain’s chemical and magnetic flows to measure blood flow around neurons enables scientists to see different patterns in the brain when the test subject is exposed to certain stimuli.

Neurons are linked together and continually revised by experience. This feedback is so intimate that there is no way to separate the brain’s neural structure from the surrounding world.

Caltech scientists believe that there could be branded brains.

I know that there are branded brains. We live in the Beverly Hills Triangle, Rodeo Drive and the like.

The average American adult gets as many as 3,000 advertising images a day. That’s over a million advertising images a year. We get “hardwired” not only by our own life and practice, but also by Madison Avenue. I do not think anyone sees this as a surprise.

We act out what is in our unconscious mind, whether or not we are a shopper, a race fan, or whatever else, we are shaped by the outside influences of our experiences.

We become something that perhaps we didn’t think we would become.

No, that doesn’t mean Crime Scene Investigation (or maybe it does). We are of course continuing our discussion about Customer Satisfaction. (The I stands for Index. If you missed the first part, you can read it in the article archive on the LifeMotivations.com website).

Sometimes your customers feel run over, and then they feel like you took the extra step to back up and ran them over again to make sure the job was done right.

If you have an unhappy employee, then you have a customer satisfaction issue. Now, you do not have to take every employee home to mom, and have dinner with them every night like they are family. They probably don’t feel like doing that anyway, since they have their own lives, and their own families.

What they do want is someone who cares enough to at least listen. People want to feel appreciated; it doesn’t cost any money to tell them that they did a good job. Send a note home to the family telling them of something good or great that your employee did.

Despite what many people think, work is not all about money, but mostly about relationships. And if someone screws up and it was an honest mistake, then take the heat, let them know that mistakes cause problems and move on. The person that made the mistake is probably feeling worse than you can make them feel.

There’s nothing worse for a company than when someone screws up and others start yelling and sharing with everyone around them that someone is going to get fired. That is a surefire way to make sure that everyone that these employees come in contact with makes sure your CSI is in the tank, or worse.

If you care about the customers and the employees, the employees will feel good about themselves and the customers.

Now I know if you are the CEO of a Fortune 500 company you can’t go around and tell everyone what a great job they are doing, but you can tell you managers, and if they have any sense they will pass the appropriate comments down the line and so forth.

You lead by example of how you treat your employees and peers. How you treat them is how they will treat the customers.

This takes time and energy, but it is worth it.

Let’s try developing our plan. We want to open up and think about potential improvement and growth that we can cultivate in our life to have a more perfect state.

Think of one thing you would like to do and write it down. Carry it in your pocket or purse or someplace personal and review it regularly each day.

Do you want to read more, find time to walk more, save a few more dollars, develop better sales, management, or administrative techniques?

Just pick one thing, write it down and carry it with you. See what happens when you have a regular reminder. Do you see a change?

Let me know.

Thanks,

Step

Do you have a long commute? Do you watch daytime TV in the gym? Why not invest your time to create your own success? Life Motivations CDs are available on all these topics and more:

• Don’t stand in your own way of achieving the success you’ve been dreaming of
• Develop a positive, defined self image and mental models of the world to help you shape your future
• There IS a way to sell more effectively
• Develop and cultivate the values and priorities that will keep you on the right track
• Stop giving up on your dreams and move toward achieving them
• Learn the techniques and philosophies that can help you achieve success

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