This week in Los Angeles, a thirteen year old boy who was playing pony league took an aluminum baseball bat and struck another 15 year old player in the leg, breaking it. He then struck him in the head, crushing the boy’s head and killing him.

The thirteen year old was angry about something that was said; in a word, the other boys were teasing him.

This anger is so sad, and yet who is to blame for this anger? Well to start, the boy is not blameless. For as far back as I can remember, people teased me and told me I am worthless and so on. Even now, people are lined up to tell me of all the deficiencies that I have! OK, I don’t club them to death; I move on, because if they are so eager to share what my deficiencies are, they probably have a few themselves. (Of course these are the people that have a lot of “yes people” around them, and might have a deficiency or two of their own, but never recognize them.)

And what about the parents? Have you seen some of the parents at these things? They act like, “If you don’t win, kid, you are a loser and I will disown you”. They run out on the fields and argue with referees and umpires, and it just makes me sick. And these are the parents that start fights with referees and officials that believe it or not spill out into the crowds. There was a story not long ago about a parent who was beating up an official of the game over a call, and got into it with other parents and people were seriously injured. They hauled him off to jail, where his behavior probably wasn’t changed.

What kind of role model is that?

Of course I want the best for my child, but if he isn’t going to be the next big star, and chances are that he might not be, who really cares. I still love him. I want to do what is right for him, and give him opportunities in the world that everyone has a chance to have.

You don’t have to be a star in sports or other things to be happy and satisfied. Most of us won’t be.

Now I am a motivational speaker, and I say if you think you can, you might, and if you think you can’t you won’t. Chances are you are going to have failure in your life and not be Joe Namath, who I have met and think the world of. Chances are we won’t be a home run king like Hank Aaron, or a Wayne Gretzky, or a Lew Alcindor, (UCLA, fight, fight, fight!), who became Laker great Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

The odds of becoming a professional athlete are less than one percent of the population. And what kind of parent do you want to be remembered as: the one that loved, nourished, helped, guided, advised, and listened to your child’s concerns? Or the one who is overly driven, and tells their child “You must do this. You must achieve this,” and think, “This is love because I am tough on you to win, only expect winners.” And you know the sad thing is most of these parents were losers to some degree themselves that are trying to live their dream though their children. I think it is sick.

And now what about society? The paper was quoting people from the pony league saying “We are just one big family.” “How can this happen?” “We care about everyone so much.” Bullshit.

The managers are out to win, the tactics are tough, the kids grow up so much faster and have so much more talent it seems than when I grew up, and they are playing for keeps. These are not friendly games, but games of competition with young men that have not matured enough to know how to completely think for themselves. If they were old enough, they would be driving and boozing and chasing “hot” mates like the rest of us. (Just a little humor-- very little I guess, but I hope you get the point.)

Who is responsible for this act of violence? Me. And everyone else that allows this kind of behavior and thoughts to be tolerated. Teenagers have a tough time growing up, learning who they are and what the world around them is all about. They need responsible people to help them shape their lives-- and that my friends is you and me and everyone else. We are all to blame for this tragedy, and how do we fix it?

We need to talk about personal achievement, success, failure, character, values, and goals. Yet I don’t think schools teach this course. Perhaps it would be a better world if we had started teaching Success Philosophy to all of us many, many years ago. When do you think we should start? Or should we wait to have continued tragedy like this? Heaven forbid we should teach the philosophy of personal achievement to our children.

William James said, “If you change a person’s mind, you change their life.”

Ever hear of the person who is like an old dog and can’t learn new tricks? Or the person that has one year of experience for a 30-year career? Repeating what they learn the first year for the next 29?

Yes it is possible for some people to be successful in spite of themselves, but for most of us it takes dedication, desire, determination, and ability to learn new things, often on the fly.

Some people are so closed-minded that they believe themselves to be right all of the time. Now I know this is not true of me, because so many of you write in and tell me that I am wrong, to keep me honest. The good news is that many more of you write in and say thanks, and that an idea helped you.

What is it that makes a person want to believe what they believe and not entertain any new ideas?

Why do we get stuck in an idea that may not be true, yet we believe it unconditionally?

Researchers are smashing Gold atoms together to mimic conditions in the first microseconds after the creation of the universe. They have observed an unexpected new state of matter, as reported by Thomas Maugh II in the Los Angeles Times. Instead of Quarks and Gluons, which researchers expected, they got a perfect fluid, according to Raymond Orbach, director of the Department of Energy’s Office of Science. Scientists believe that this research shows what happened 13 billion years ago when free Quarks and Gluons cooled down, and created a bang: A big bang that created the universe. (For more info, see the LA Times April 19th)

Now, the philosophy of personal achievement that we talk about transcends political, social and religious boundaries. While most of the time I stick to the philosophy of personal achievement, today I must digress and share with you ideas that change slowly in the real world, and because of this “slow growth” those ideas are dangerous.

Last week the Roman Catholic Church started its Conclave. This is the meeting of the Catholic Cardinals from around the world to choose a new Pope. And I think they have every right to believe whatever it is that they believe. And I don’t mean this targeted at just the Roman Catholic Church; this applies to any formal religious group in my opinion. But let’s just look at some of Rome’s ideas.

The Roman Catholics do not believe in birth control, or the use of condoms, and they advocate abstinence to prevent unwanted pregnancies and diseases. You know what this has done to many people: It has sentenced them to death from AIDS or other diseases. Now I think that the Roman Catholics have every right to believe this, but is it an appropriate tenet in today’s world?

I also find it hard to believe that only Roman Catholics can go to heaven according the Vatican, which means the Pope. And many Roman Catholics will not go to heaven.

So even if you do everything they tell you to, and give them money, and your life, you still might not make it to Saint Peter’s Gate. You may still go elsewhere.

There are some beliefs that the church holds on faith, but can’t faith change?

Can’t the world change? Can’t human beings change? Or do we all have to believe one thing?

And as new scientific information about the creation of the world and our Earth was discovered just recently, will the Church ban this information?

It has banned prior scientific information, why not this new idea of creation? The Church, and I don’t mean just the Catholics but every faith, has to spurn modern science if it wants to stay alive in the religion’s present form.

OK, I know a lot of religious folk around the world that are very devoted to their religion, and nothing I am going to say is going to shake them from that religion, and this is not my intention.

Yet when I talk to them, they do what is convenient. How many Catholics practice birth control? How many of the faithful do not practice everything that the Church laws dictate? So that means if you don’t practice the law you don’t get into heaven, so why are you belonging to a Church that is out of step with the real world?

Of course we want to believe what is convenient for us. Bishop Derensbourg of the United Christian Fellowship Church here in Los Angeles thought that parishioner Phoebus Smith would bring prosperity to the members of his church by understanding savvy investments in the stock market. The Bishop was disappointed to learn that parishioner Smith was a con-artist, and he had carted away a lot of the congregation’s money.

It will not be in my lifetime, but in the next century there will be no Church as we know it. The Church had its time, and was a social and political force. This force will die out as we understand that our ability to think and be ourselves is key to our development, not following a dogma that is of no relevance any more.

The teachings the Church first gave us were necessary for our political and social growth, but other institutions will soon give way to the Churches of the world.

For example, I support a cause called the Maple Counseling Center that gives low-cost mental health to the needy that need this help, along with support groups that help the young and the old. Perhaps this is what the Church has done in the past, and no longer has the resources or will to do this kind of work for all in need.

I support a program called the Blind Children’s Center that helps infants to school age blind persons to mainstream into society; they are not cursed by God. God has very little to do with us living and dying. There is no great plan, only us who will survive or not. We ourselves will determine the future of human beings, not a supreme being, and if there is a cataclysmic event it will be because of us, and not some supreme being.

And you know what? As we grow as human beings many of us intuitively know this, and yet we don’t want to say it because we may find that people will do damage to our reputations. Who wants to fight a church that has billions and sits on anyone that doesn’t agree with their concepts.

In the end we believe what we want to, we keep it inside ourselves for the most part and live life. Perhaps we pray when we need a miracle.

So we believe what we want to, and we believe things that are out of date or not, and these beliefs could be dangerous to our lives. And we may believe things that are not true, because someone has told us that the faithful will believe.

Think about it. How much sense does it make?

Now I believe that everyone goes to heaven. Yes, everyone. And I don’t believe that heaven is a place, or a destination to go to, but something more on the plane of spiritual feeling. To me there is no heaven or hell, no place that you will be if you do or don’t believe. Of course this concept is hard for us to grasp since all of our time is spent in space and time, and I believe heaven and our spirits are of neither.

I think it is our responsibility to make sure we can do what we can to stop disease and suffering on the planet.

How many wars have been fought and are continuing to be fought because of religious ideals? Some of the great crusades are and have been fought because of religious ideals.

And I believe that many people have been held back because they believe in religious dogma to the point of not being able to believe in the philosophy of personal achievement.

The fact that you are a sinner and will always in some way be bad- and you must confess your sins so that you will be saved- doesn’t allow you to focus on the positive in life, and let the bad disappear from your mind.

The philosophy of personal achievement wants you to know that you are good person, that you can achieve, and that you can have dreams that can come true.

And we can go to the flip side: The philosophy of personal achievement is not the communist doctrine in which each person achieves according to their ability, because who decides your ability? What benevolent dictator are you going to believe or let have control of your life.

In the philosophy of personal achievement you decide what your ability is, and you should be encouraged by people around you.

The philosophy of personal achievement is allowed to grow in the American capitalist society, and while not perfect it gives people an opportunity for growth in their life. You are never too old, too poor, or too late to have personal achievement in your life. Old beliefs can hold you back, and new beliefs are hard to forge.

I think it is great if you want to believe in God, the Catholic Church, the Protestant Church, Communism, and the Tooth Fairy, but why not believe in yourself first.

Of course this is dangerous talk, and I am possibly alienating 95% of the people in the country that believe in religion, and the other 4% that are Communist. So that leaves me with maybe part of the 1% left over.

I believe that everyone goes to heaven, that there is one God, and He has given us free will to do with our lives as we wish. There is no question in my mind that we are and have evolved. I believe we should do everything in our power to succeed in life, and that we should do everything in our power to help others that need help. We should do everything that we can to examine our thoughts and make sure that they are current and wise.

Why on Earth would anyone have exclusivity to the spiritual world that we all are a part of. And why would any cast judgment on us.

I guess I may die and go to hell, except for one thing: I don’t believe in hell.

I don’t believe in rules made up over many centuries that can hurt people.

I am sorry that we don’t examine our lives independent of others’ thoughts.

I am sad that so many of us don’t believe in ourselves, and that we can’t change.

My son who is five has a movie called, “A Bug’s Life.” The short story is that the grasshoppers come every year to get food from the ants, and the ants are afraid of the grasshoppers, so they do what the grasshoppers say. The grasshoppers are all-knowing.

Then one day an ant discovers that the grasshoppers can’t control them because there are so many more ants. The grasshoppers have always known this fact, and they know they must keep the ants faithful, or they will be out of food and a congregation.

The grasshoppers know that they will remain in control until that day when the ants realize they no longer have to do what the grasshoppers say, and they don’t have to believe what the grasshopper believe.

And one day an ant shares his discovery with the other ants, and though the other ants had perhaps known this deep down, they now know it to be true.

They gain their freedom.

They change their mind, and change their life.

What is freedom worth to you, and what will you believe to achieve it.

The Customer Satisfaction series will return in a few weeks.

Believe in yourself. Don’t let other people tell you who you are. Stretch out and believe you can. I believe in you and so do others.

Walk away from dream killers, and remember that there are people who love and care about you and will be supportive.

When someone says, “You can’t,” say to yourself that it is not true. “Who are they to tell me what I can or cannot do? That is my privilege as a human being.”

“I will not listen to negative talk about myself and believe it.”

PS: Check out the recent Weekly Challenges as an introduction or to find a new success technique.